Case Study #9: John Griffith on his preparation for service

John Griffith (1713-1776) was born in Wales, emigrated to Philadelphia as a young man, and joined Friends there. In middle age, he returned to travel extensively in the ministry for two years, after a return to Pennsylvania he removed to England where he married & dwelt the rest of his life, making one religous visit to America during that time.

Griffith describes how he gradually became aware that he might be called to serve in the ministry, but this was after some time of trial (it is not clear from his Journal how long this period was — some months, at least). This part of his journey was formative for his later life and practice.

The decisive process began when he was about 19 years old. He had been among Friends for some time,and kept consistent with such outward testimonies as the plain speech, and as he writes,

I retained much love and regard for those I thought truly religious; especially weighty substantial ministers of the everlasting gospel; and I believe had a better sense of their spirits and labours, than some of my companions had, and therefore was afraid to despite or speak contemptibly of such, as some of my associates did.

But as we see in other journals, his practice at this point was principally based on this unformed sense of respect, rather than of any more searching encounter with the Spirit of the Lord. He had a feeling that in these meetings, these experienced Friends were showing him something that moved him, but there was no more substantive inward process.

I did.. in a customary way, attend first-day meetings, and most[ly] had the liberty of going on other days of the week, when any ministers from distant parts cam to visit Abington meeting… but alas! It was to littie or no good purpose, as the labour bestowed on me, by ministry or otherwise, was like water spilt upon a stone, that soon runs off again without any entrance, I being indeed for some time like the heath in the desart, not knowing the good when it came; and if at any time the seed of God’s kingdom fell upon my heart, it was soon taken away, and I presently lost the savour thereof.

But then a crisis occurred. One evening, he was one of a merry company of friends who spent their time together in frothy vain conversation, and foolish rude actions… I suppose I was as a ring leader; he mentions elsewere that though he generally kept to the truth, he didn’t see any harm in embellishing a story for fun. That night at home, however, he felt some sharp lashes of conscience.. a thoughtfulness took hold of my mind, that we had not a being in this world for such a purpose. Amidst these meditations, he learned that one of his “jolly companions” from the party was that night taken violently ill. Griffith hurried to stay by his friend’s bedside during the crisis, which all expected to end in death. Although things soon turned out well, Griffith was deeply struck by the realization that life is short and may end at any time — and thus we must prize the time we have.

He then entered into a familiar cycle of advance and regression, seeking to ive more deeply and piously, and often failing. He came to see that one could practice and profess a kind of consistent life, not unlike the life of faithfulness, but that the essential ingredient necessary was a clear sense of God’s spirit present and at work as director and guide. This he encountered fitfully, but it was often inaccessible, in a way that frustrated and discouraged him, until he began to see that coming to an insight, however true and hopeful, was not the same as having the ability to live it.

The times of darkness or bereavement from the life of God were, he came to feel, a sort of growing point, if he could set aside his expectations and his own preferences, and stay in the learner’s mind. He writes that when he
had no distinct knowledge…what to do, that it was my indispensible duty to stand still, and wait for my unerring guide; if at those times, self would arise and be uneasy, it must be brought to the cross, there to be slain. By such experience, I found I was nothing, and that God was all things necessary for soul and body; that if I was brought into a state of perfect reconciliation with him, I must know all things new. This realization served as a foundation for a more consistent, confirmed state of mind and spirit — and, you might say, a refuge to which he might retreat at times

I have recounted this narrative, which is similar to many others to be found in Quaker writings, because it sets the pattern so effectively for the emergence and practice of the gift of ministry that Griffith began to suspect was in prospect, however improbable that might appear — here he was at sea and just learning to navigate, and yet he could imagine being a pilot for others? Yet his narrative makes clear that, in his experience of seeking, losing and finding direction and right confidence as a disciple, he was learning that God was faithful and could work change in the otherwise unpromising John Griffith. His experience of the inward work of Christ in himself — however unfinished! — enabled him to see that it was a path that others can come to, and that “instruments” such as the ministry could provide pointers and encouragement (coaching, if you will) as they sought their way onto the path of the Light.

So here it is good to stop and recall Wiliam Penn’s words (from the Rise and progress):

oh! feel life in your ministry—let life be your commission, your well-spring and treasury on all such occasions; else you well know, there can be no begetting to God, since nothing can quicken or make people alive to God, but the life of God; and it must be a ministry in and from life, that enlivens any people to God. 

To return to young John Griffith: He is careful to distinguish preparation from the order to act. Once your eye towards ministry is opened, you can feel the urge to serve, and materials being gathered and considered for use (see John Conran’s experience recounted in Case Study #8), but that is not the same as learning when and where you are to be of use. Gaining experience in his search, Griffith also gained a clearer understanding of the role and purposes of the gospel ministry in God’s economy (the ordering of the divine community in creation). Like many others, the prospect seemed daunting and his own qualifications inadequate. He had to recall the lesson of spiritual impoverishment, and learn to trust the Lord’s requirings (which are also the source of empowerment to service) before he could get past his reticence.

With this view of the integral relationship between seeking, finding, and proclamation or teaching, I will leave this piece with John’s account of his arrival at the field of service, and his passage through the gate of fear and false modesty. Another case study will explore the next stage in his journey, but in what follows, see how his prior seeking was in some ways recapitulated in his awakening and qualification to accept a calling to gospel ministry:

About this time, I had had a distant view of being called into the work of the ministry; my mind being at times wonderfully overshadowed with the universal love of God, in the glorious gospel of his Son, to mankind, to that degree that I thought I could, in the strength thereof, give up to spend and be spent for the gathering of souls to him, the great Shepherd of Israel; and that I could life up my voice like a trumpet to awaken the inhabitants of the earth. But I found that this was only by way of preparation for this important work, and that I had not yet received a commission to engage therein.

A fear was upon my mind, and care, lest I should presume to enter upon this solemn undertaking without a right Call; it appearing to me exceeding dangerous to speak in the name of the Lord, without a clear evidence in the mind, that  he required it of me; which I then fully believed he would in his own time, which was to wait for.

From this time, until I was really called into the work, I frequently had, but especially in religious meetings,  openings of scripture-passages, with lively operations of the divine power in my mind; and sometimes with so much energy, that I have been almost ready to offer  what I had upon my mind, to others. But  as, through an holy awe which dwelt upon my heart, I endeavoured to try my offering in the unerring balance of the sanctuary,  I found it was too light to be offered, and was thankful to the Lord for his merciful preservation, in that I had been enabled to  avoid offering the sacrifice of fools.

But when the time really came that it was divinely required of me, the evidence was so indisputably clear, that there was not the least room to doubt; yet, through fear  and human frailty, I put it off, and did not give way thereunto. But oh! how was I condemned in myself ! The divine sweetness which had covered my mind in the meeting was withdrawn, and I left in a  very poor diseonsolate state, wherein I was ready to beg forgiveness, and to covenant with the Lord, that if he would be pleased to favour me again in like manner, I would give up to his requiring.

At the next first-day meeting, the Heavenly power overshadowed me in a wonderful manner, in which it was required of me to kneel down in supplication to the Lord in a few words : I gave way thereunto, in the dread of his power, with fear and trembling. After which, oh, how my soul was filled with peace and joy in the Holy Ghost!  I could then sing, and make sweet melody in my heart to the Lord.